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all love garden|fifty first plates two; fifty plates darker

tasty pasta, tasty prizes

Season Two is now completed. Thanks for reading, everyone!

Welcome to the world's first pasta blog/reality tv dating game show hybrid

Join Vino as he mixes rotini with romance over 50 first dates. Who will win the grand prize, and who will be left holding the doggy bag?

This year, you decide! Follow the dates, vote on your favorites, and find out if love can truly bloom in an Olive Garden. Season premieres September 25th, 2017 and runs through November 19th when the winner will be revealed.

Fantastic Pasta

In addition to soup, salad, and endless breasticks, every date will enjoy a delicious Never Ending Pasta Bowl. Let your creativity run wild and compose your masterpiece!

Fantastic Prizes

The winner will receive the grand prize: a most-expenses paid trip to little Italy! Upon arrival, the lucky entity will be treated to dinner at an actual Italian restaurant.

Little Italy

Praise for Vino


Vino is my [great] roommate[!]

Michael K. Roommate

Enjoy your 2.4% raise. Keep up the adequate work.

Michelle C. Employer

I never should have left him, what a fool I was!

Megan, Probably Ex-Girlfriend

I do not release authorization of my likeness or name for your blog.

Anonymous Anonymous

Praise for All Love Garden Season One


"This is too much food. This isn't my fault."

Read more

"Wow, there's a lot of salt in this."

Read more

"It's,'s okay!"

Read more

"lmao I told you you wouldn't be able to find 50 dates"

Read more

conceivable questions

Is this real? Or is it one of those things that aren't real?

This is one of those things that are real.

What's a Vino?

Vino is the world's foremost authority on all things Olive Garden. His various adventures have been featured on Ars Technica, USA Today, New York Magazine, and Fox News, each for a relatively minor appearance that has earned him no financial restitution!

You're not...uh...expecting anything out of this, are you?

Trading sexual acts for spaghetti -- commonly referred to as pastatution -- is illegal in the state of California; as such, you can rest assured that your walk out of the Olive Garden will not be a walk of shame.

How much will this cost me?

All dinner expenses will be covered by Vino -- but you must order the Never Ending Pasta Bowl, and it would be helpful if you order something that has not been previously reviewed (something with a greyed-out icon).

Can I play? I'm male / genderqueer / married / asexual / repulsed by you

As long as you're a human being who is willing to be on a blog and acknowledge this as a date, yes!

Is this still going on?

Nope. It's over. But thanks for reading!