Welcome to the world's first pasta blog/reality tv dating game show hybrid
Join Vino as he mixes rotini with romance over 50 first dates. Who will win the grand prize, and who will be left holding the doggy bag?
This year, you decide! Follow the dates, vote on your favorites, and find out if love can truly bloom in an Olive Garden. Season premieres September 25th, 2017 and runs through November 19th when the winners will be selected.
In addition to soup, salad, and endless breasticks, every date will enjoy a delicious Never Ending Pasta Bowl. Let your creativity run wild and compose your masterpiece!
On November 20th, fan voting for the best date will begin. The dates who receive the third- and second-most votes will receive a $10 and $25 gift card to their favorite restaurant, assuming that their favorite restaurant is Olive Garden.
The date who receives the most fan votes will win the grand prize: an all-expenses paid trip to littleItaly! Upon arrival, the lucky winner will be treated to dinner at an actual Italian restaurant.
Praise for Vino
Vino is my [great] roommate[!]
Enjoy your 2.4% raise. Keep up the adequate work.
I never should have left him, what a fool I was!
I do not release authorization of my likeness or name for your blog.
If you do not see a form to sign up for a date appear here, you may need to log in/log out of your Google account. If you don't have one, you can create one for free, or just email me, and we'll work something out.
Is this real? Or is it one of those things that aren't real?
This is one of those things that are real.
What's a Vino?
Vino is the world's foremost authority on all things Olive Garden. His various adventures have been featured on Ars Technica, USA Today, New York Magazine, and Fox News, each for a relatively minor appearance that has earned him no financial restitution!
You're not...uh...expecting anything out of this, are you?
Trading sexual acts for spaghetti -- commonly referred to as pastatution -- is illegal in the state of California; as such, you can rest assured that your walk out of the Olive Garden will not be a walk of shame.
How much will this cost me?
All dinner expenses will be covered by Vino -- but you must order the Never Ending Pasta Bowl, and it would be helpful if you order something that has not been previously reviewed (something with a greyed-out icon).
Can I play? I'm male / genderqueer / married / asexual / repulsed by you
As long as you're a human being who is willing to be on a blog and acknowledge this as a date, yes!